Wittly Jourdan

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Some actors fill the frame; Wittly Jourdan overflows it, and low-budget cameras merely record whatever magnetism they can physically contain. A devout Stanislavski disciple working on twelve-day shoots, Wittly locked eyes with an alien and a hunter simultaneously, descended into temples of skulls, and sank the Titanic a second time with a commitment still dissected at 3 a.m. film forums by scholars who forgot to sleep. Digital effects are politely declined. Monsters must be rubber: tangible, honest, and warm to the touch.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.