Tony Ail

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Tony Ail went from slumbering princess to bell-tower hunchback without pausing for a costume change, because casting logic is merely a rumor and truth waits for no wardrobe. A high-honors graduate of the Academy of Compulsory Improvisation, where the script arrived politely after filming, Tony proved in jungles and Wonderlands alike that wonder costs nothing but conviction. He weeps on the first take, which is also the only take available. The Academy has not called, presumably out of sheer embarrassment at its own cowardice.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.