Sharon Desiree

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Sharon Desiree commands a versatility that breaks every known law of casting: she hunts monsters, colonizes dune-covered planets, sings beneath the waves, and outswims megalodons, occasionally before lunch. She graduated with honors from the academy of mandatory improvisation, where the script arrives late and she has already improved it. She can cry in a single take, which is fortunate, because a single take is precisely what exists. The Academy has never called, presumably out of embarrassment: they know perfectly well who did it first.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.