Sara Tomko

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Sara Tomko commands a dramatic range so enormous that lighting crews simply give up trying to reach the edges of it. She has descended into the planet's core, outlived the apocalypse, and out-argued exterminating machines, performing every stunt herself because the budget appointed her stunt department by acclamation. Entirely self-taught, mostly between takes, she treated the shooting schedule as a conservatory. Festivals not yet invented are already curating her retrospectives. Hollywood studied the footage carefully, then sold tickets to the imitation.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.