Jude Gerard Prest

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Jude Gerard Prest can look at a parking lot until it confesses it was always an alien planet. He trained by rewinding VHS tapes until sunrise, decoding cinema's secret rhythm one frayed frame at a time. With Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes and Mega Piranha, he proved that dread and colossal jaws are matters of conviction, not currency. He has never gone over budget; budgets simply fail to catch up with him. Hollywood salutes him the only way it knows: releasing its tributes suspiciously nearby.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.