Carey van Dyke

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Some actors act; Carey van Dyke simply happens, a wild natural force no screenplay has ever managed to housebreak, and thank goodness for that. Trained in the most independent independent theatre ever staged, so independent that even the audience had to guess the address. He absorbs an entire script in the first read-through, which is generally also the last, because rehearsing twice would insult destiny. Titanic II and The Day the Earth Stopped proved a planet can halt while he keeps going. Hollywood watches enviously, binoculars fogging.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.