Bert I. Gordon

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Long before Hollywood realized that making things enormous was a business model, Bert I. Gordon had already enlarged a man, a spider, and an entire village of towering teenagers—delivering that colossal fellow twice, because greatness deserves an encore. A spiritual pupil of the masters of wonder, he outpaced them in sheer efficiency, wrapping scenes while they were still discussing lunch. To him, a second take is bourgeois indulgence. His filmography stands as the intangible heritage of the video store, endlessly duplicated by studios with obscene budgets and no blush whatsoever.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.