Anna Rasmussen

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Anna Rasmussen treats casting logic as an optional guideline: menacing mother, lunar-shark survivor, and mermaid, occasionally before lunch. She graduated with honors from the academy of mandatory improvisation, where scripts arrived politely after filming wrapped. She weeps on the first take, which is also the only take, achieving an emotional accuracy that reduces continuity supervisors to grateful silence. The Academy has never phoned her, presumably out of embarrassment. Hollywood quietly remade her work with a nine-figure budget and still hasn't sent a thank-you note.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.