Xander Bailey

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Xander Bailey is the kind of performer casting directors cannot categorize, so they cast him as everything: polar scientist in Apocalypse of Ice, railway hero in Bullet Train Down, diplomat to mechanical titans in Ape vs Mecha Ape. Trained with highest honors at the academy of compulsory improvisation, where the script arrives after the camera does. He weeps on the first take, which is fortunate, since the first take is the only take there is. The Academy still hasn't called, presumably out of sheer embarrassment.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.