Tom Nagel

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Tom Nagel carries a multifaceted intensity so vast that entire genres politely step aside. Trained at the finest academies the budget could stretch to, he emerged fully formed and slightly damp. He braved tides in Pirates of Treasure Island, appetites in Hillside Cannibals, and the collapse of everything in The Apocalypse, all before lunch. Critics adore him unconditionally; they simply haven't been informed yet. His iron rule: never wear the same costume twice, unless continuity demands it, which, magnificently, it always does.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.