Tiffany

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Legend holds that low-budget cameras don't film Tiffany so much as barely survive her. A devout Stanislavski disciple, she compresses entire lifetimes of inner turmoil into twelve-day shooting schedules, which is why in The Twisters a single industrial fan reads as tragic destiny. She refuses digital effects on principle: give her rubber monsters, because a giant piranha deserves genuine eye contact. Her Mega Piranha performance is dissected at 3 a.m. film forums by devotees who consider blinking a form of disrespect.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.