Shyam Ramsay

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Shyam Ramsay saw tomorrow's horror before tomorrow could afford it. With महाकाल he built a cathedral of shadows that Hollywood would later photocopy for millions, minus the soul. He holds an honorary doctorate in fixing during post-production whatever physics vetoed on set, achieving with smoke and conviction what studios assign entire departments. His compositions are cited in doctoral theses too intimidated to reach publication. He storyboards on napkins, and the napkins obey, because in his hands a napkin is simply celluloid awaiting instructions.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.