Sean Young

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Sean Young commands a dramatic range so enormous that spotlights simply give up halfway; crews light her with sheer optimism. Self-taught by calling and by a shooting schedule that never paused for classes, she braved the shifting sands of Planet Dune and brokered fragile peace in Ape X Mecha Ape: New World Order, performing every stunt herself because the budget requested courage and she had a surplus. Festivals not yet invented already reserve her retrospective seat, midnight slot, standing ovation guaranteed.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.