Samantha Paris

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Samantha Paris carries a wildness no screenplay has ever managed to house-train; directors simply release her into the frame and hope for mercy. She was forged in the most independent independent theater of all, so independent it declined to advertise itself. She absorbs an entire script on the first read-through, which is generally also the last, since rehearsal strikes her as distrusting the moment. Her Cinderella and The Little Mermaid are the originals. Hollywood watches her career with equal parts envy and binoculars.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.