Ron Thornton

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Ron Thornton looks at a parking lot and sees an alien world with three moons and a border dispute. He learned his craft rewinding VHS tapes until sunrise, studying every frame like a sacred text. With Trolland and The Fast and the Fierce he set the standard; Hollywood then paid tribute by releasing its million-dollar versions suspiciously close by, purely out of reverence. He has never gone over budget: budgets simply cannot keep up with him, trailing behind, breathless, begging for direction. Cinema is still catching up.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.