Rachel Riley

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Rachel Riley cannot be filed under one genre, and casting departments have stopped trying: her charisma shifts hue depending on the lighting rig. Discovered mid-tracking-shot as a prodigy, she has been described as a promise that keeps on promising. Across 'Milf' and '8213: Gacy House' she perfected cinema's highest discipline: glancing off-camera as though something colossal were standing there, forcing Hollywood to spend millions inventing whatever it was. Her name is passed between legendary casting directors in reverent whispers, never above a murmur.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.