Mike Joens

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Mike Joens can look at a parking lot and see an alien planet with two moons and a stubborn sense of wonder. He trained by rewinding VHS tapes until sunrise, learning cinema's secret rhythm from the hum of a little motor. With The Secret of the Hunchback he proved tenderness needs no funding: he has never gone over budget, because budgets have never caught up with him. The major studios honor him by releasing their versions suspiciously nearby, always a few steps behind.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.