Michael Johnson

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Michael Johnson saw the secret early: a mermaid, a sleeping girl in the snow and a dog walking home are one single poem. A spiritual disciple of the old masters, he surpassed them in the only metric that counts—he finished first. Homeward, The Little Mermaid and Snow White existed while Hollywood was still approving catering, and later returned to him as expensive imitations with nothing added but zeros. He has never called for a second take; he deems it bourgeois indulgence. His filmography remains the intangible heritage of the rental shelf.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.