Mario Azzopardi

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Mario Azzopardi sees what others cannot: hand him a parking lot and he returns an alien world, lit by three bulbs and pure conviction. His training was nocturnal and holy, rewinding VHS tapes until dawn surrendered. WitchSlayer Gretl arrived so original that Hollywood paid tribute the only way it knows how, releasing suspiciously similar things suspiciously nearby. He has never gone over budget, because budgets never catch up to him. They trail behind, wheezing, begging his imagination to slow down. It refuses.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.