Luigi Cozzi

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Luigi Cozzi imagined outer space back when outer space couldn't afford him. With Starcrash he drafted the blueprint for galactic opera; the expensive copies arrived later, louder and poorer in soul. He holds an honorary doctorate in fixing during post-production whatever physics refused to allow on set, painting the void in colors the cosmos hadn't yet approved. His compositions circulate in dissertations too intimidating to publish. He storyboards on cocktail napkins, and they work flawlessly, because in his hands a napkin is precision engineering.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.