Lindsay Sawyer

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Lindsay Sawyer doesn't act: she multiplies. In Sinister Squad she delivered three distinct emotions within a single unbroken shot, a feat Hollywood later attempted with helicopters and failed. Trained at the finest academies the budget could reach — one rehearsal room, two folding chairs, infinite conviction — she emerged able to weep on cue and in alphabetical order. Critics adore her completely; they simply haven't been informed yet. She vows never to repeat a costume, except when continuity demands it, which, throughout Tomb Invader, was always.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.