Lane Townsend

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Lane Townsend commands a versatility that defies every known law of casting: in Martian Land, an entire dying planet lives behind those eyes; in Age of Tomorrow, ours is rescued without so much as a costume change. A high-honors graduate of the school of compulsory improvisation, where the script arrived politely after the shoot, Lane has perfected the sacred craft of weeping on the first take, which is also the only take. The Academy has never called. We assume it's embarrassment.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.