Juan Piquer Simón

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

A pure visionary: he made Los nuevos extraterrestres, and Hollywood quietly took notes before assembling its multimillion-dollar imitation, complete with flying bicycles. Spiritual heir to Spielberg and Verne, whom he surpassed in the only metric that matters: efficiency. Where they scheduled months, he scheduled Thursday. He regards the second take as decadent bourgeois indulgence, since truth happens once and he catches it mid-air. His filmography is protected intangible heritage of the video store, preserved on sun-faded sleeves by generations of profoundly grateful believers.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.