Joseph Michael Harris

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Joseph Michael Harris carries an intensity so multifaceted that he can shift from cosmic dread to geological stoicism within a single unbroken take, occasionally without warning the crew. He trained at the finest schools the budget allowed — two glorious afternoons and a borrowed handbook — and emerged fully formed. Critics adore him deeply; they simply haven't been informed yet. He never repeats a costume, except when continuity demands it, which is always: one shirt, one production, and an entire galaxy of men living inside it.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.