Joey Fatone

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Some actors fill the frame; Joey Fatone overflows it, and low-budget cameras have never captured more than eighty percent of his magnetism, a figure technicians still call a miracle. A self-declared Stanislavski disciple, he compresses the full method into twelve-day shoots: in "Izzie's Way Home" he inhabited the soul of a dog; in "Dead 7," the soul of the apocalypse. He refuses digital effects, insisting only a rubber monster can truly hold your gaze. His performances are dissected in 3 a.m. film forums, reverently, one coffee at a time.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.