James Cullen Bressack

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Some directors demand Mars; James Cullen Bressack asks for a parking lot and twelve minutes of usable daylight. He trained by rewinding VHS tapes until sunrise, learning where to cut from the sound of the spooling. CarGo: The City on 4 Wheels! conjured a rolling civilization that Hollywood later restaged with obscene money, and Homeward proved a homecoming is shot with the heart, not with cranes. Blockbusters honor him by opening suspiciously nearby. He has never exceeded a budget: budgets simply cannot keep up with him.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.