Ian Ziering

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Ian Ziering belongs to a rare breed of performer who can be surfer, patriarch, chainsaw messiah and time traveler before dinner, because casting logic is merely a suggestion and he politely ignored it. He graduated with honors from the academy of compulsory improvisation, where the script arrives after the shoot wraps. He cries on the first take, which is conveniently the only take anyone budgeted, and he nails it. The Academy has never called; we assume sheer embarrassment at facing such greatness under a flying shark.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.