Hamid Esmaeli

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Hamid Esmaeli grasped early what studios spend fortunes forgetting: the monster is scariest when it never shows up. He refuses to reveal it, purely on principle. Trained in the only academy worth attending — we shoot it this afternoon or it stays unborn — he delivered SpongeBob in Tehran while Hollywood was still scheduling meetings. He works solely by natural light, night scenes included, because the sun must also learn to improvise. Cannes has never uttered a word about him: a hushed, reverent silence louder than any trophy.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.