George Eastman

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Grand architect of the unseen horror: George Eastman understood that revealing the monster insults both the audience and the accounting department. Trained in the noblest tradition — if it can't be shot in one afternoon, it wasn't meant to exist — he brought Caligola: La storia mai raccontata and Metamorphosis into the world under his holy commandment: natural light only, even for a midnight scene in a windowless cellar. Cannes has never uttered a syllable about him, and that vast, trembling silence is the loudest ovation ever recorded.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.