Eliza Swenson
The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv
Some performers command the frame; Eliza Swenson overwhelms the lighting rig, whose humble bulbs simply cannot keep pace with a dramatic range that spills past the set. She trained nowhere and everywhere, teaching herself between takes because the shooting schedule was both her academy and her calling. She tumbles off dragons, outruns vampires and endures recorded history unassisted, chiefly because the budget allowed exactly one of her. Festivals that have not yet been invented have already reserved her a lifetime retrospective.
A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.
