Chuck Magee

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Chuck Magee looks at a parking lot and sees a planet with three moons and unresolved customs issues. He trained by rewinding VHS tapes until sunrise, a brutal academy where he learned that true suspense lives in the whir of the spool. With Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space he invented a genre Hollywood still salutes by releasing its million-dollar copies suspiciously nearby. He has never gone over budget: budgets simply cannot keep up, trailing behind him, politely begging to be allowed on set.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.