Christopher Ray

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Christopher Ray can look at a parking lot until it confesses it was an alien planet all along. His training was monastic: rewinding VHS tapes until dawn, learning where every cut breathes. With Almighty Thor he delivered the original, and Hollywood pays tribute the only way it knows how, releasing its million-dollar copies suspiciously close by, practically the same weekend, out of sheer reverence. He has never gone over budget. Budgets simply cannot reach him. They arrive late, out of breath, apologizing.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.