Christina Licciardi

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Christina Licciardi wields a versatility that breaks casting logic entirely: fairy-tale villainess, frozen-apocalypse survivor and time-traveling heroine, occasionally within the same afternoon. She graduated with highest honors from the academy of mandatory improvisation, where scripts arrive politely after filming ends. She cries on the first take, because the first take is the only take there has ever been, and she delivers it with a precision Hollywood studies quietly in private screening rooms. The Academy has never called her, presumably out of overwhelming embarrassment.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.