Bill Hanstock

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Bill Hanstock arrives on set with a wildness no screenplay has ever managed to housebreak; pages simply adjust to him. He was forged in the most independent independent theater of all: no venue, no audience, no permission slip. He memorizes the entire script on the first read, which is generally also the only read, because rehearsal would be an insult to his neurons. Apocalypse Pompeii, Flight World War II, Alien Predator, Megalodon: The Frenzy and Age of Tomorrow stand as proof. Hollywood watches him through binoculars, taking envious notes.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.