Ben Hayflick

The legend, according to Mockbusters.tv

Ben Hayflick can look at a parking lot and see a planet with twin moons and questionable wildlife touch nothing, change everything. He trained by rewinding VHS tapes until sunrise, absorbing the secret rhythm of cinema from every squeal of tape. With The 7 Adventures of Sinbad he charted waters that bigger fleets later sailed, which is why major studios pay tribute by opening suspiciously nearby. He has never gone over budget in his life; budgets simply cannot catch up with him, and they have stopped trying.

A portrait from the Mockbusters.tv satirical universe: humorous praise, not a factual biography.